But as disciplined as I can be about running, just easily I lose my way. My dedication to my family overtakes my running. I find this is both good, and bad.
This is a difficult dilemma for me. I love running. I need running. But I love my family and I want to be there for them. I guess I'm still learning how to make both a priority on an ongoing basis. But just as I let household things go to get a run in, sometimes I have to let the run go in order to be there for my family.
I believe that balance in life looks different each day. Not everything in life should have an equal part of the pie. Every day has it's own priorities.
But when I go days without running, it feels like I'm losing my way.
Saturday was my husbands birthday. My nieces and nephew were also coming over in the morning. We had errands to do and a sick child.
Sunday is my early and most tiring workday. When I run before I head in to church at 7:30am on Sundays, I am tired all day. Sometimes I can muster energy and motivation for an afternoon run, but I had errands to run and we were headed back to church at 6pm.
Today, Monday, was a holiday. I had plans to meet with my two lifelong best friends for breakfast, which is a 40 minute drive and our times together are at least 3 hours. The afternoon was for Bean to study for a big exam he has tomorrow night. My living room was the playspace for my 4yr old and our 4yr old neighbor. I could have dragged out to the treadmill (Bean went somewhere else to focus on studying) but although I can run on the treadmill early in the morning, there is something about running on it looking out at a beautiful afternoon (the 'mill lives in the garage).
So three days of no running. I feel like I've lost my way. My lack of running has also led to consuming too much sugar too. Somehow they are related, though I wish they weren't.
I could have gotten up really early one of those mornings, but I relish the one (and with the holiday two) mornings a week Bean and I get to "sleep in" together. And with a sick child and a dog in the house, sleep wasn't solid or good.
My kids are still really young. I can't get these moments, these days back. There will be days to come when they will all be in school, when they will be more self-sufficient in the mornings or maybe actually sleep in. Days that aren't birthdays.
I need to be proud of these days, when putting my family first is the right thing to do. Just as I'm proud of the weeks I log miles and nail a training schedule.
So really, I'm not losing my way. It just changes. And I can always find the running way again.
|Found here. Yes, I want.|