Monday, December 26, 2011

a thousand reasons but no excuse

My last post was on December 9th.  I hurt my back on the 8th.  I didn't run for 10 days total, counting a few days prior to the injury that I hadn't run.

I've run just 4 times in the past 11 days, since I determined my back injury was healed.

While it's understandable considering the holidays and craziness that surrounds them.  But it's not great considering I am running my first marathon, 26.2 miles, on January 22.

I have a thousand reasons.

First was the back, so those 10 days were a legitimate break.  I needed to let my back heal 100%.  I was scared to start back too soon and prolong my recovery by re-injuring it.  I ran 2 miles a week after my injury and felt pretty good, which showed me that I did the right thing by taking that week off.

And all of the sudden it was the week before Christmas.  Parties, shopping, activities.  The kids were out of school, we were juggling childcare, I was under some deadlines at work that were stressful.  Late nights.  Three weekend Christmas services I needed to be at.

A thousand reasons.

But honestly, truly, no excuse.  I could have put on my shoes and gotten out there.  I could have taken 30 minutes to just at least keep up the running.

If I didn't have a marathon coming up, I wouldn't be so frustrated with myself.

I planned to do a long run this past weekend.  I slept less than 6 hours on Thursday night, and only 6 hours Friday night and we began celebrating with family on Saturday morning.

I didn't do a long run.

I almost didn't run today.  I had to take my almost 8-year old shopping this afternoon and when I got home, I was so tired.  The little girls were clingy.  But my awesome husband pushed me out the door and I got 4.5 miles in.  My legs felt huge, clumsy and awkward the first mile or two.  Like they each had gained 5 pounds.  Which is entirely possible with holiday eating.

I believe in myself.  Even though I've been derailed, I trust in my training up to that point.  I have not lost what I gained.

On Saturday or Monday, I will do my last long run before I start to taper.  I'd like to run 20 miles.  I know I can run 14-16.  If I'm feeling good enough, I'll keep going.

There may be a thousand reasons, but I will stop making excuses.