Wednesday, September 28, 2011

before I lose my mind

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I feel like I'm going to go postal if I go too long without a run.  I wish I wasn't so controlled by my running.  I wish I didn't need the endorphins like I do.

But I do.

I guess its better than being controlled by alcohol, drugs, food or other addictive vices.

Being a working mom with young kids is just plain hard.  I know that being a stay at home mom can be hard, but that's not the world I live in, and I never have.

Even though my youngest is closer to 3 than she is to 2, I still feel like I'm trying to figure it out.  Three kids threw us for a loop.  I've said it before and I still think it, sometimes I'm walking a slippery slope and if it weren't for running, I may have needed professional medical intervention.

If I keep up with my running though, I don't lose my mind.

Finding my running groove early in the week is challenging.  I also need to get my treadmill set up again.

I do my long runs on Saturdays.  From 7:30-12:30 on Sundays I'm in go-go-go mode at church, teaching, running around, doing a variety of things (I'm a pastor).  Sundays are pretty exhausting and I'm often in heels and on my feet a lot.  Probably not ideal for the day after a long run.  Especially once the mileage ramps up (as in next Saturday, when I will run 10 miles).

Mondays I probably need to do a real easy run.  But it's dark until at least 6:15am and I've tried a few times and I just can't get comfortable running in the dark.  On workdays, I need to be home at 6:30am-6:45am, which doesn't leave a lot of time for running if I wait for it to start to get light.

Today I was desperate.  I hadn't run since Saturday.  I've been feeling a bit down this week and not running wasn't helping.  I decided to adjust my morning so I could run.  It meant coming back home after dropping Miss Rose off, before I dropped the little girls off and went to work.

But I may have self-combusted today if I didn't run.  It was well worth it.  I ran 3 miles in just under 29 minutes, a pretty good time for me.

We folded up the treadmill for the summer, but it's time to get it back in place in the garage.  That way I can start my runs on the treadmill in the dark and maybe finish the last mile or two on the streets when the sun rise.  I'll be happy when the time changes in a month because for a short time it will be light early enough to get a decent run in.

I spent Monday and Tuesday watching people run along the Bay while I was in planning meetings.  It was torturous!  So tomorrow I'm going to head to the Bay with the girls in the jogger and get a good run in and then play in the sand with them.

That's enough babbling for tonight!

I had an incredible run on Saturday that I'll write about in the next few days.

I love running.  I don't always love how much I love and need running, but it takes care of me.

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