Thursday, March 10, 2011

the confessional

I'm stepping into the confessional booth now.
Although I'm not catholic and have never confessed in a booth.  But it makes for nice writing.  (I do confess to my Jesus all the time though)

*whispers* The scale says I gained 5 pounds.

And that number came even after I, um, emptied my bowels, first thing in the morning.

I knew I'd gotten lax with my eating.  Too much sugar.  Too many helpings of it.  Too much bread I'm sure.

But I still exercise at least 3x a week.

I also knew my belly looked a little mushy (cause after 3 babies, that's where it goes).  And maybe my pants were more snug than loose.  They still fit though.

A midday weighing last week showed that I was probably up a few pounds.  If I'm afraid of what the scale says, I'll do a midday weighing, which means I can subtract as many pounds as I think necessary to accommodate for my clothes and whatever I've consumed already.  Does anyone else do this, or am I alone in my psychosis?

This midday weighing though, is very subjective!  Because if I really don't like what I see, I probably tend to subtract more than I should.  But the midday weighing, does prepare me for the good or the bad of the early morning weigh.

Bottom line, my bottom (and other parts) are too mushy.

After that rude awakening, I've had a good week of eating and exercise so far.  I've stayed within my calorie goal and I've exercised 3 out of 4 days.

I do wonder though, as someone who's struggled with 5-20lbs through my teen and adult years, will I ever reach that point of balance?  Where I don't overeat, stress eat and binge on chocolate?  I maybe be a run-aholic, but I'm a food-aholic too.

Coincidentally, the image at the top, I found via Google Images.  But it happens to have my first goal weight on it.  I would love to reach that goal, hang out there a while and try it on for size.  I could go a lot lower, according to the BMI scale, but I don't know if I would like how it looks or feels.  So, that's my first goal.  Has been for a year now.  Maybe this little wake up call will inspire me to stick with a plan now.

I'll keep you posted.

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